Before/After, by Kim Sunée

Mardi Gras 2020. 

Louisiana announced its first confirmed case of the novel coronavirus on March 9. 
Two weeks later, the state reported 2,305 positive tests and 83 deaths from the virus.

Before

they led us astray and into the crowds

strolling our children half-asleep, dreams abuzz

with sugar-beats in rhythm 

to our favorite marching bands

we stretched our arms, hoping to catch

blinking beads as we danced

with strangers who are never really strangers if only 

in this moment 

in this town

a crescent of so much laissez faire.

We drove around the remnants of the last devastation 

parts still windswept and water-logged.  Stopping along the tracks,

windows rolled down, hoisting a go-cup full 

of giddy and one-liners from our days 

as young editors, far-flung stringers, stylists and cooks,

we leaned deep into the train whistle. 

We gathered for an early dinner at Thalia, our favorite neighborhood joint,

your gorgeous blond locks loose as we sipped and talked

mocktails and Mexican retreats while our dinner dates

spoke of past wars and new chapters; we always order 

rice and beans here, with cured egg yolk shaved just so

and small plates with dashes of salt

a few petals here and there, an offering from the chef

to the muses.

On the last day of Before, we meet at the oyster bar, elbow-to-elbow

clinking glasses. You unstrap the vintage watch from your wrist, 

place it on mine, a present to celebrate a future 

birthday, an anniversary of our friendship, a memory of all the touching 

possible that came before.

After speeds up on us as we rewind

searching for that moment/s when we, too, could have been 

infected…Was it when the server leaned in to tell us, 

like a juicy secret, how the catch of the day is served

with dirty rice and not to miss the oysters from Murder Point?

Was it when we spent the evening

sharing spiked king cake and Chablis, after walking arm-in-arm

in the late afternoon sunshine, not realizing 

that on this end February 2020 

with clear skies above and whole evenings ahead 

nothing would ever be the same again? 

Even on the airplane, after, no one wore a mask

no one thought to not sit close 

as we slipped into sleep, sliced through the sky

crossing open borders.

How vast a sea between demur and demure.

Language, this heavy constellation

of dissent.  A shining blister, sometimes a blessing.

Tell me, how do we cross the finish line

with finesse and a heart intact

after all this broken-down beauty.

A fistful of words and wild berries.   

All the You (s) and We (s),

gale forces in the last days of (our) Before.

Tomorrow stains our mouths goodbye-blue.